I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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