Christians are straight up FREAKS
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
