Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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