ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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