come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
