I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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