Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
