Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize