a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
