why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
