Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
