I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
