The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
