My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
