so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
