i don't like sucking hair
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
