we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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