that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
