Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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