While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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