Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
