Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
