Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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