You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize