i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
