speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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