My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
