I'm lost and stupid without you.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
