I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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