My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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