Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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