Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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