If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
