Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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