Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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