she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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