community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
