Kiss
Puke
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
