Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
