So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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