What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
