Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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