someone threw a dead crab at me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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