Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
