What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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