Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize