But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
