We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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