she smelled like a LAN party
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
