Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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