Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I came so hard my ears popped.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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