Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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