am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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