Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
