Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
