Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I deserve this hangover.
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