finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
