Midget sex pt 2 tonight
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
