Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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