We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
