you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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