dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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