I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
