what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
