once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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